Finding Myself through Labels: A Journey of Self-Acceptance

The Curious Case of the Tin Labels

I remember when I was about six, wondering whether the label on a tin made it what it was or whether it was the contents that defined it. I pondered about changing the labels on some tins and seeing what would happen. If I swapped a pear slices label for that of a tin of baked beans and vice versa, would the contents magically switch over?

Obviously, I know now that it would still be beans inside the can labelled as pears and vice versa, but that wonderful childlike thinking believed that maybe magic could happen!

Why do I tell you this story of my crazy brain at the age of six?

A Journey Through Labels

Well, there is a lot of talk of labels and meanings around in my life at present. I was diagnosed autistic on 5th September 2022 and then added the label of ADHD on 13th March 2024. It took me that long to admit that maybe I did have ADHD, even though I identified with that side of me more than with my autism AND my autistic diagnosis letter mentioned the high likelihood of ADHD.

My internal ableism said I was a fraud and just needed to try harder. My inner demons said that being the "most organized, messy person anyone knew" was a character flaw, and I was lazy and should just be better.

**The Impact of ADHD Medication**

What I have discovered recently from trialling various ADHD medications is that my brain does work differently: the drugs do make a difference, and many of the ways I have 'beaten myself up' about not being good enough have been proven wrong.

Reflections on Late Autism Diagnosis

Being a late-diagnosed autistic made me take stock of my life. So many things became clear about why I struggle the way I do: how what others find easy, I don't and sometimes vice versa. With my added ADHD, that daily internal battle I have on-going in my mind made sense. The labels I now wear on the outside match how I had been experiencing myself on the inside. I am now finding a way to be kinder to myself. It is an ever-evolving process, but viewing myself through the lenses of these neurodivergent labels has made it easier for me.

Embracing AuDHD Identity

I have found that viewing myself as neuro-divergent has increased my level of self-acceptance. I am a calmer and more gentle person with myself and others. I am neurodivergent and I am okay. My AuDHD label allows me to navigate my everyday life with grace. Don't get me wrong, I still overdo it, expect too much of myself, and use too many 'spoons,' but now I know why I then need to rest rather than feeling like a failure or not good enough.

The Power of Labels

So, I feel labels are important: they are empowering and freeing and mean that what is experienced on the outside matches what is on the inside. It can seem a trivial thing (and maybe I used to think that too) but that is not what I have experienced lately.

When I was a tin of beans with a sliced pear label on the outside, I tried to act like pears and society expected pears. When it got beans, there was understandably disappointment, and I internalized that as 'bad.' I am beans, I am pears, and I am many other things, but all those things are acceptable if they are expected and catered for.

Living Authentically

I recognise myself as AuDHD and dyslexic, I recognise myself as genderqueer, I recognise myself as someone who cares about the planet and the sovereign right for everything on it to be respected and valued. I believe that when we recognise ourselves in all our abundant, amazingness, the world is a better place.